yeah dude,
you are too smart,
so that others can't understand your smart ways of treating people,
i saw you speaking to a large crowd about your ideologies,
you were very loud when you explained why you don't like public attention,
i remember you conducted more than 1000 meetings to explain this,

dude,
yes I'm a fool,
who can't understand any of your crocked ways of public life, or skills,
like those others around you,
or just understand that...
your life is gift of mercy..
of those thousand fools around you,
my smart friend.

a pain...
a fear...
a uncomfortable condition....
my heart is asking me to stay in ma hut,
i know the weather is fine there,
and the conditions are perfect,

but,
i cant go out,
i know i should,

but,
i know you can suggest me a solution,
if i can tel my problems,
no no its not about trust,
not about individuality,

reasonless.
purely reasonless.
it makes it more miserable.

i can hear the alarm,
i can hear people shouting,
everyone is happy,
everyone is enjoying out there, the new season.


adaptation,
its difficult.

it is almost over.
here i want to say sorry to you.
sorry,
dont think i have done some big crime to someone.
yeah i have done something.
i dont know whether you know about that...
its all up to you.
you can take it as a funny part.
or you can wait for a chance for a counter attack ;).
i dont care.
yeah..i dont care.
but i want to say sorry.
just because it makes me more myself.

more meeeee.

sorry.



i want to became more myself.
i was someone else for sometime.

i'm not under a bodhi tree...:)
wants to be more myself..
more aby-ish.

for thattttttttttttttttt........
sorry!!!!.

This is about you, who can’t understand true love.
This is about you, who can’t determine who is your true friend,
This is about you, who always think about relationships,
This is about you, who can’t just float through relationships,
This is about you, who take things serious to your head always,
This is about you, who are confused when it is the case of relationships,
This is about you,
This is about me.

new photo blog...

http://abhadangal.blogspot.com/

ohhh......why i took a 4 week gap to write an another blog?
actually a lots of things happend after my last blog.
a lots of things...
i found so many interesting things..
actually it was the conclusion peroid of so many things...
it was a learing period...
here i'm with so many notes...
that i had got from so many people...
so many experiances...
here i have to edit it...read it.
its time foe updates.....
its the time.

this is the perfect time to take a position...
climate changes..
chance for a rain?
its too hot here...
I'm tired.
i tried my maximum to overcome the heat.
but....
i can't go further.
i thought i will get someone to share this.
they were busy with their own needs.....
they may have similar problems...?

also, i found another interesting point.
the temperature here,
around myself,
it is different from others...
and it is not going with others'


waiting for a rain....
yeah, its cloudy today.
i can hear the sounds of thunder.

today may be the perfect day.


waiting for the rain.

you are hard, you are strong, you can survive through any situations,
you are sensitive, you are light and can't survive .
so please be conscious when taking decisions.

some of the trees will survive all rainy seasons and big winds.
it looks so strong tooo.
it looks like no one can make any harm to it.

but infrond of cyclones,
everyone will be same...

also sometimes..
below the "big trees",
we can see small plants with beautiful flowers....
the "weak plants".


they will not laugh.
they are so sensitive,
they will be sad because of the fate of "big trees".

Yea.
This was there all the time,

I used to wonder why people cant understand my love and concern for them.

That state of mind is something...
The other side of the coin.
I never understood those people who really care and love me...


I dont get the philosophy behind this.

But those who love are the people who get ignored by others always.
And we go and go
Searching for new faces and places.


..............

some fool

hey,
we have so many concepts and theories in every point of life, right?
some fool said that you need daily conversations to keep your close ones together.
some fool said that love is not possible without minute to minute updates with your partner.
some fool said that friendship is everything.

i was a fool for a long time....

life is full of changes.

friend.

New Year

da....today is new year of Telungu people called Ugadi, like Vishu in our place.
they have so many celebrations like what we have there in kerala. the most interesting thing is Pachchadi.All the family members and friends sit together for this traditional sauce called Ugadi Pachchadi. It is a mixture of the following products:

Neem leaves which is good for patients who have diabetes and skin diseases
Jaggery increases haemoglobin level and sugarcane juice fights against jaundice.
Raw mango and Tamarind juice are consumed with almost every dish prepared by women of Karnataka and Andhra Pardesh.
and it is belived that the taste that you get from the first sip of Ugadi Pachchadi will be your luck throughout the year.
Also Ugadi Pachchadi signifies that life is not a smooth journey. All sorrows, happiness, success and disappointment must be given due importance. All experiences have to be treated equally as it makes us learn something new every time and prepares us for the rest. It makes us develop positive attitude towards life. People also make some resolutions and pray to God for their well-being and prosperity. i think resolutions is the only common thing throughout the world that we usually makes on new years, almost same resolutions every year.
now the time is about 4 AM in the morning, don't know whether i can go to mess in the morning to have that drink. hoping i will get Sweet taste .....for a good year :) .
hoping you are doing good.
Your Br.

letters....

unknown self died yesterday.....now it is time for letters....in this world of chatting and sms....but i like it..I'm not that modern....its not like that i hate it or something...simply like that.

Spirits...

what will be thier life?
ohh...they dont have life na...?
spirits are everywhere....
you cant see them,
unless you want to see them.
you will not notice them,
unless you decide.
everyone can be spirits.
everyone can be unnoticable,
everyone can be invisible.

now even I'm a spirit.
can you see me?

Gandhi, Sachin , Mohanlal.

u may think what is the common connection between these people.....

these are the three people who i realy admire in thier respective areas...
Gandhi as a gr8 leader,
Sachin as a gr8 cricket player,
mohanlal as a gr8 actor,

something about me...
sensitive..
who always care about what people thinking about me..
one who belived that i can be friendly with everyone...

So...i am coming back to my heros...
eventhough these people have many unique qualities,
i used to hear many bad comments about them by many poeple...

if i'm sure about what i'm .......y should i care about your comments?
thanks eflu...
i know now...
how to say f--k off......to those....

silence

that moment...

i was silent.

i was silent.

i don't know why...

but i was silent...

now.

so many people are asking so many questions...

because of that silence...

i became a very silent one...

forever?

colourless.....

never..
never in my life....
i never had been in a situation like this in my life...

all the eyes are staring at me?

for some people, they got a good time, apt time to backstab.

but for me they are not a subject,
there are people who have concern about me,
who used to care about me, who likes me.......

now?

it was a mistake...
that feeling of guilty..oh..

i should move on from it...

i can, i know....

but....

but even in that situation,i expected some people..
who have sense to understand,
who can be with me..
sounds very funny actually.



a very important period of life..
so many lessons..
for my future life...

i will be OK.

MASK...

masks...
you can't live without that in this world??????

you should smile,
you should be patient...
you should do altot of things..... according to what society expect from you....

socialisation?

the funny part of the story is we usualy wear this mask even infrond of mirror,
to hide ourself tooo....

or

we actualy don't know anything about us...

or

we don't want to......

who am I?

the enlightenment?
the idea about my surrounding,
the truth.

I'm scared,
I'm so scared.

knowing the fact that,
the ability of my fellow beings capacity to act,
to show smile in their face,
even before the people they hates,
even to the worst enemies,

I'm scared,

no,no
I'm confused.

Valentine's day

????
valentine's day.?
i can say this is just like anthor day created by some MNC to fool people around the world.
anyway not going to itzz aganist our so called culture(not intrested in SHIVASENA)
i can hate this day, because i cant send free sms to my friends,
i can hate this day because no girl friends around me?
i can take it as a day to find new choices?
[no chance now anyway]

???

i cant say i hate this day ....
?????

happy valentine's day to all those who have some feelings in thier deep hearts.

enjoy.
?

Rules in friendship

Rules.
my friends used to tell some rules...

in friendship.
you should understand others feelings,
you should understand others mood,
you should understand others character,
you should give space to their personal problems,
you....
you....
you....

and don't expect anything from others....
don't ......
don't.......


only for me?

Without lens...

i have myopia,
i cant see far objects without my lens,
it is with me for a past 10 years,
here it is not about my lens,
sometimes, i like to remove my spectacles,
then i can't see the long views,
but it is only that time i usually looks around me,
things that near to me,
my small world.

beauty of every single grass,
beauty of every small ants,
beauty of everything near to me,
beauty of everything i have,

i want to enjoy the beauty of the present.
without looking towards future,
the long views of my life..which is far away from me,
then i can enjoy beauty of the present,

without any lens.

The drooping flower

It was not like this,
Ya, it was not like this,
It was a new life,
It was a new dream,
Like a beautiful flower, having 8 petals,
A beautiful one,
How i became a part of it?
I don’t know..
But i love this flower,
More than anything,
But...
I can see the flower wilting,
Ya, it is..
I don’t know the reason,
but.
i have so many reasons to worry about this flower.

Season.

mad time...

some times,
wants to go away from usual patterns,
wants to walk alone,
wants to sit alone,
wants to prove something(i don't know what is that),

not feeling well,
scared, without reasons,


seasonal changes?

it is very cold outside,
i want something to resist this changes,
something,someone.

Status Message

i can walk alone,
i can smile,
i can advise,
i can be funny,
that doesn't means i'm happy.

An Ephemera- I Want a ‘Best Friend’.

It may sound so funny to so many people who know me for a long time, may sound very confusing for new people in my life. I have friends, a lot of best friends actually. Then why I’m thinking about a best friend now?
I can find so many reasons for that, but..
I was part of many so called ‘groups’, many times in my life..
But always I was beyond that groups too, not only me but I got some good friends having same feelings..
Also luckily I got someone who is always close to me.
Who concerns about, who loves my concern too, actually these people changed my character a lot and I can say these people where those who is behind my character.
And now?
Changes.
Once I thought those people will be with me forever,
Sounds very funny now. :(
“You have so many best friends around you aby”
Yes, I know.
But still.
“Forget about the past aby”.
You know what Prakash Kona(my Prof.) told about past?
“Real freedom is freedom from your past”.
So…
Nothing.
beyond these theories.....
I want someone to hold myself.
A best friend?

NB. I have many best friends.
This feeling came from something lost in my way.

living with masks?

"world is a stage and we all are actors"-shakespeare.

so true..
even i felt like that many times in my life.
even i encoutered many questions,like why you are hiding your personality?, many times in life.
i am ready to aceept that ,
but my doubt is, which is my orginal character? ,what is myreal personality?

i can't stop laughing

i found this news from our university website.....

Our Dreams

Dreams.
Dreams were ours.
beautiful dreams.
suddenly she woke up....
and walked away somewhere...
i was still in the bed,
dreaming.
i was in the dream.



NB.aby is not the hero of the story or dis s not aby's story.

good day!

ya,i feel so free today.
because of last days decisions..
but u know it is very difficult to be strong in our decisions.
but anyway i have to be..
she, my old.. no she will be my best friend forever, called me today in the evening..
but i haven't took her phone..
i don't want to complicate all the matters.
so i think it will be better to avoid that calls.
she may try once again.
and probably she will take this chance for a good bye.
from her recent activities I'm expecting that thing only.

but you know in my deeper mind, even now i can't completely avoid her, can't say anything bad too.
but..

wonderful day?

three important things had happened today.
i mentioned two in the previous post.
here I'm adding the third.
my father simply said that i should find my own money for the further studies after my PG.
may be trying to inject some responsibility to my mind.

i don't know what to say..
I'm felling sort of happiness actually, i can find some freedom after my PG?
doesn't mean I'm in some cage or something..
but standing in our own feet will be better na?

but.....
this 'but' has many meanings...

resolutions

no resolutions anyway in the new year....
ya...i was just like that..
but today i took a decision ..
about two important people in my life.
my lover and my best friend.
actually i was trying to catch a solution for so many days..
i know it is very tough to take decisions like this and to keep this type of decisions..
but i should be strong!
so here is the day.
love..even after three years of my love life, am not sure about a definition of that,
anyway i going to stop it..
it doesn't mean i am going to stop it permanently..
but i don't want to take all my time to think about that, future and all that type of bloody stuffs,
and don't want to put pressure in her life too...
so today we took a good decision, an very good understanding between each other..

hoping good for both of us.
:(

and the second person..
she is my best friend..
the one who i am most concerned about, i should say i was..
for whom i took most number of Sim cards according to new offers,
for whom i collected most number of enemies in my college life,not because of her mistake anyway..
now i realise how she is affecting my life,
now my concern is a problem to her,
sometimes even my call,
presence in google talk,
but still she says she needs me,
she wants my friendship...
but why lady,

for me friendship is not like that,
i don't know this new definition of friendship that you got from somewhere unknown fom me,
and i just hate that thing,
i tried my maximum to adjust, ya i am using that word, adjust with your new ways,
but simply i can't my dear friend.
u r my best friend, who gave all support to me that i can remember all through my life,
it is enough for me,
otherwise...

the most sad thing to say is you are the one who know me the most,
even after that why you are doing like this?

so i took this decision.
i think this is the time for me to find a new path that is away from you,
better for you and your new life.
for me too.
good bye.
hoping you will find my way very soon...waiting for a realisation too.
:)

commitments

dont ask me a why question...
now i'm siting infrond this lappy with a very unusual mood, i think first time in my life time...
i dont know, seriously i don't know..
but i hate all commitments.

i just wanted to say this to everyone...
i was a man who was very concerned about friendship and other relationships, even now,
but..
now a days i even hate my phone...
i don't know, i don't know..
but i feel like that..

but i know i can't run away from all.
so...
ha ha i knw iknw...dis is life..ok ok
bloody...