Without lens...

i have myopia,
i cant see far objects without my lens,
it is with me for a past 10 years,
here it is not about my lens,
sometimes, i like to remove my spectacles,
then i can't see the long views,
but it is only that time i usually looks around me,
things that near to me,
my small world.

beauty of every single grass,
beauty of every small ants,
beauty of everything near to me,
beauty of everything i have,

i want to enjoy the beauty of the present.
without looking towards future,
the long views of my life..which is far away from me,
then i can enjoy beauty of the present,

without any lens.

The drooping flower

It was not like this,
Ya, it was not like this,
It was a new life,
It was a new dream,
Like a beautiful flower, having 8 petals,
A beautiful one,
How i became a part of it?
I don’t know..
But i love this flower,
More than anything,
But...
I can see the flower wilting,
Ya, it is..
I don’t know the reason,
but.
i have so many reasons to worry about this flower.

Season.

mad time...

some times,
wants to go away from usual patterns,
wants to walk alone,
wants to sit alone,
wants to prove something(i don't know what is that),

not feeling well,
scared, without reasons,


seasonal changes?

it is very cold outside,
i want something to resist this changes,
something,someone.

Status Message

i can walk alone,
i can smile,
i can advise,
i can be funny,
that doesn't means i'm happy.

An Ephemera- I Want a ‘Best Friend’.

It may sound so funny to so many people who know me for a long time, may sound very confusing for new people in my life. I have friends, a lot of best friends actually. Then why I’m thinking about a best friend now?
I can find so many reasons for that, but..
I was part of many so called ‘groups’, many times in my life..
But always I was beyond that groups too, not only me but I got some good friends having same feelings..
Also luckily I got someone who is always close to me.
Who concerns about, who loves my concern too, actually these people changed my character a lot and I can say these people where those who is behind my character.
And now?
Changes.
Once I thought those people will be with me forever,
Sounds very funny now. :(
“You have so many best friends around you aby”
Yes, I know.
But still.
“Forget about the past aby”.
You know what Prakash Kona(my Prof.) told about past?
“Real freedom is freedom from your past”.
So…
Nothing.
beyond these theories.....
I want someone to hold myself.
A best friend?

NB. I have many best friends.
This feeling came from something lost in my way.

living with masks?

"world is a stage and we all are actors"-shakespeare.

so true..
even i felt like that many times in my life.
even i encoutered many questions,like why you are hiding your personality?, many times in life.
i am ready to aceept that ,
but my doubt is, which is my orginal character? ,what is myreal personality?

i can't stop laughing

i found this news from our university website.....

Our Dreams

Dreams.
Dreams were ours.
beautiful dreams.
suddenly she woke up....
and walked away somewhere...
i was still in the bed,
dreaming.
i was in the dream.



NB.aby is not the hero of the story or dis s not aby's story.

good day!

ya,i feel so free today.
because of last days decisions..
but u know it is very difficult to be strong in our decisions.
but anyway i have to be..
she, my old.. no she will be my best friend forever, called me today in the evening..
but i haven't took her phone..
i don't want to complicate all the matters.
so i think it will be better to avoid that calls.
she may try once again.
and probably she will take this chance for a good bye.
from her recent activities I'm expecting that thing only.

but you know in my deeper mind, even now i can't completely avoid her, can't say anything bad too.
but..

wonderful day?

three important things had happened today.
i mentioned two in the previous post.
here I'm adding the third.
my father simply said that i should find my own money for the further studies after my PG.
may be trying to inject some responsibility to my mind.

i don't know what to say..
I'm felling sort of happiness actually, i can find some freedom after my PG?
doesn't mean I'm in some cage or something..
but standing in our own feet will be better na?

but.....
this 'but' has many meanings...

resolutions

no resolutions anyway in the new year....
ya...i was just like that..
but today i took a decision ..
about two important people in my life.
my lover and my best friend.
actually i was trying to catch a solution for so many days..
i know it is very tough to take decisions like this and to keep this type of decisions..
but i should be strong!
so here is the day.
love..even after three years of my love life, am not sure about a definition of that,
anyway i going to stop it..
it doesn't mean i am going to stop it permanently..
but i don't want to take all my time to think about that, future and all that type of bloody stuffs,
and don't want to put pressure in her life too...
so today we took a good decision, an very good understanding between each other..

hoping good for both of us.
:(

and the second person..
she is my best friend..
the one who i am most concerned about, i should say i was..
for whom i took most number of Sim cards according to new offers,
for whom i collected most number of enemies in my college life,not because of her mistake anyway..
now i realise how she is affecting my life,
now my concern is a problem to her,
sometimes even my call,
presence in google talk,
but still she says she needs me,
she wants my friendship...
but why lady,

for me friendship is not like that,
i don't know this new definition of friendship that you got from somewhere unknown fom me,
and i just hate that thing,
i tried my maximum to adjust, ya i am using that word, adjust with your new ways,
but simply i can't my dear friend.
u r my best friend, who gave all support to me that i can remember all through my life,
it is enough for me,
otherwise...

the most sad thing to say is you are the one who know me the most,
even after that why you are doing like this?

so i took this decision.
i think this is the time for me to find a new path that is away from you,
better for you and your new life.
for me too.
good bye.
hoping you will find my way very soon...waiting for a realisation too.
:)

commitments

dont ask me a why question...
now i'm siting infrond this lappy with a very unusual mood, i think first time in my life time...
i dont know, seriously i don't know..
but i hate all commitments.

i just wanted to say this to everyone...
i was a man who was very concerned about friendship and other relationships, even now,
but..
now a days i even hate my phone...
i don't know, i don't know..
but i feel like that..

but i know i can't run away from all.
so...
ha ha i knw iknw...dis is life..ok ok
bloody...